The Terrible Twos
August 22, 2012
By: Rachel Hadley
While sex with the first person you see may be on some minds as September approaches, it’s not for everyone. Those of you going to Uni in a relationship, keep reading…
The Terrible Twos…
Those first two weeks at University in terms of your relationship are crucial. If one of you is going to University and the other is not, they could be the worst of your relationship.
With the shockingly high number of people who end up breaking up within the first few weeks at University due to infidelity on one or both parts is astounding.
However, to all those going to University in a relationship, you should not let this fact eat away at you and subconsciously push you to doom your own relationship before you’ve even given it a chance. I fear that even the most faithful of couples can get wrapped up in the hype of “it never works”. It is very important that you go to University with the “let’s see how it goes” attitude. Things change a lot with this new lifestyle and you will notice it in yourself. If your relationship can move with it then great, if not then let’s face it, there’s a lot ahead of you to look forward to. There is no sympathy out there for the people who go University, cheat, and then say that it just happened because of how hard long distance is.
However, ending the relationship before University because of how hard it will be without even giving it a chance is frankly a cowards way out and seems no different to saying out loud, “we don’t trust each other”. By no means am I saying that relationships are easily made to work over long distances and whilst at different Universities, however, every couple is different and you may find it actually suits your lifestyles well.
Rob Pattinson was quoted in Italian Vanity Fair saying that he doesn’t understand why people cheat. Of course, we have recently watched his fairy tale romance crumble from its cloud in the sky, with girls around the world weeping that the couple who are ‘meant to be’ on and off screen are after all, just like everybody else and can still fall victim to the sting of a cheater.
What’s worse, in a month’s time, hundreds of the same girls who have slandered Kristen Stewart for her behaviour just may suddenly be able to relate to her behaviour having gone to Uni and found themselves cheating.
If your relationship survives the terrible twos, of course you have the threes, fours fives, and so on to look forward to. You have to have, patience, understanding, trust, no jealousy, commitment, cooperation, and fun to even stand a chance in a relationship at Uni. This is on both parts. You have to understand why certain things might be hard for the other person, particularly if only one of you is going to University. But at the same time, you have to understand that having fun and meeting lots of new people is one of the main reasons people go to University and so if you feel held back by guilt or worry about the effect it will have on your relationship, what are you getting out of your (it hurts to say it) £9000 a year?!
It seems it becomes just too easy to be maddened by the chaos and willingly charmed by the offer of “let’s do shots”. It’s not until 20 shots down, 5 hours later; you’re waking up under a tattooed arm that, last time you checked, was not your boyfriend’s.
Where deeming that cheating can be understood because it’s so common at University should not be accepted, it is perhaps not quite as tragic that the relationship has come to an end. University marks the start of something completely new and completely fantastic. It basically marks the next chapter of your life, so of course things will change and sometimes, those things happen for the best. It may turn out that your relationship doesn’t mature as you do as an individual or that you are stuck in a relationship that you know isn’t one you should be hanging on to. University can often be the perfect way to start a fresh and certainly the best way to move on as you are not haunted by constant reminders of a past relationship. University is yours and you can choose which parts of your old self you bring into it. You really can be whoever you want to be.
The best thing to do is just remain realistic, even if you have been in love since you met in the play-sand, if it’s time to call it a day, admit it to each other and go your separate ways.