The Book That Will Change How You Date Forever
August 22, 2012
By: Meg Dixon
Whilst being swept away in the whips and chains of the ‘Fifty Shades’ phenomenon, it’s easy to assume that the book I’m talking about would be none other than the massively popular ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ by E.L James. However, the book I’m talking about is an unsung hero, essential for anyone attempting to date in our modern day world of phones, Facebook and Twitter.
Think ‘Sex and The City’, think Bridget Jones. Then erase these thoughts and think of yourself as an empowered woman, no longer sat checking your phone every five seconds, wondering why he hasn’t texted, called, Facebooked, twittered, myspaced, emailed or facetimed you (social networking gone mad!).
The day of revelation started as any other boring rainy day stuck inside. Rifling through my magazine drawer, I came across a dusty issue of ‘Glamour’, still in its plastic packaging, with what appeared to be a freebie. My mouth dropped open in surprise. A freebie that I hadn’t used/lost/forgotten about?! The book title screamed ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ at me, and I instantly felt scared, wanting to curl up under my duvet and continue to co-exist in my world of rom-coms and Ryan Gosling in ‘The Notebook’. But something prompted me to open this book and see what it had to offer, and why he’s ‘Just Not That Into’ me…
And the book was a revelation. Admittedly a slightly depressing revelation, one that made me truly want to drag out my Bridget Jones pants and give in to the fact that I would be alone forever and ever. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo’s 186 page page masterpiece comes with the tagline ‘The No-Excuses Truth To Understanding Guys’, and it truly delivers on this front, there are no excuses made.
Once-upon-a-time player turned married man Greg repeats throughout the book those six words that every single woman dreads.. ‘he’s just not that into you’. Greg’s theory is that if a guy really likes you, he’ll contact you and make time for you. And if he doesn’t? Well, he’s just not that interested. I know! No excuses such as ‘he’s busy at school/work/uni’, ‘he might be really tired’, ‘maybe he lost my number’, ‘maybe he’s still deciding how he feels’, in Greg’s black and white world of dating, if he likes you, he’ll call, and if he doesn’t, he won’t.
Seemingly so simple. Greg listens to every girl’s whim, moan and worry about men, and with a bit of tough love concludes that if he’s not calling, he’s just not that interested. According to Greg if he’s not asking you out; not calling you; not dating you; not having sex with you; having sex with someone else; only wanting to see you when he’s drunk; breaking up with you; disappearing on you; unavailable; mean, a bully or a freak…. he’s just not that into you.
I was literally astounded by these revelations. A staunch supporter of romance, I couldn’t believe that some guy could conclude on the part of all men that if they weren’t doing this, that or another, they’re not interested. I mean, what about the much loved bad boy? It’s against their very description to do all of the above things, but according to Greg, if he was that into you, he’d be in touch.
Admittedly, at first this wasn’t the most cheerful of truths to admit to myself, especially when my mind began to wonder back to all those guys who obviously weren’t that into me. But on recollection, maybe it’s inspiring, in a depressing sort of way? Rather than sitting around, waiting for that fateful buzz of the phone letting you know that -yes- he’s finally texted you, precisely two days, four hours and seventeen minutes after you last spoke, you can just move on to the next one. Who, who knows, might be that into you…
Although this book has made me something of a cynic in a way ‘Fifty Shades’ certainly did not, I finally feel as though I’ve taken a spaceship over to Mars and now have some sort of understanding of the male species. The only complexity surrounding men is the excuses we make for them – in reality, most of the time they’re just not that interested!
To enlighten (or ruin!) your love life, get your own copy of ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ here:
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